About This Blog
22 of September in the year 2009
Tuesday
Tuesday
About this Blog
In the interest of making the least wearing effort ( but most entertaining) of the time spent while I wait for gainful employment (or the FEDS or mi familia come a’knockin demanding accountability), I have settled on a Blog.
Because everyone is blogging and I have nothing better to do—well I do but vodka costs money and I’ve run out of money and I am now forced to get a job, a real job.
If anyone asks, I am actively seeking employment!
Evidence:
1) I’ve filled out online applications for regular jobs. A regular job is defined as anything for which I fill out an application and in which, if I were hired, I will most certainly kill myself after four months (six months tops) or I quit whichever comes first.
2) I’ve posted a creative ad on Craigslist seeking interesting or unusual work. So far, I’ve received only ordinary and predictable offers: “do you do erotic massages; will you watch me dance; and, what exactly are you willing to do?” (Maybe a cop?) No promising offers but the Craigslist post is free and you get what you pay for.
I modeled the ad after a highly entertaining Peter Mayle book, Anything Considered. Mayle’s character, Bennett, a British expatriate living in Provence is down and out of luck and the Francs necessary to live, love and imbibe in the south of France. Bennett posts an ad, “Anything considered except marriage,”—a wealthy, tax evader answers the ad and hires Bennett to carry out a dubious mission that keeps the protagonist in sharp suits with pockets full of Francs, a splendid apartment, truffles, and mouthwatering snacks that involve wine and cheese with names I cannot pronounce.
In the interest of making the least wearing effort ( but most entertaining) of the time spent while I wait for gainful employment (or the FEDS or mi familia come a’knockin demanding accountability), I have settled on a Blog.
Because everyone is blogging and I have nothing better to do—well I do but vodka costs money and I’ve run out of money and I am now forced to get a job, a real job.
If anyone asks, I am actively seeking employment!
Evidence:
1) I’ve filled out online applications for regular jobs. A regular job is defined as anything for which I fill out an application and in which, if I were hired, I will most certainly kill myself after four months (six months tops) or I quit whichever comes first.
2) I’ve posted a creative ad on Craigslist seeking interesting or unusual work. So far, I’ve received only ordinary and predictable offers: “do you do erotic massages; will you watch me dance; and, what exactly are you willing to do?” (Maybe a cop?) No promising offers but the Craigslist post is free and you get what you pay for.
I modeled the ad after a highly entertaining Peter Mayle book, Anything Considered. Mayle’s character, Bennett, a British expatriate living in Provence is down and out of luck and the Francs necessary to live, love and imbibe in the south of France. Bennett posts an ad, “Anything considered except marriage,”—a wealthy, tax evader answers the ad and hires Bennett to carry out a dubious mission that keeps the protagonist in sharp suits with pockets full of Francs, a splendid apartment, truffles, and mouthwatering snacks that involve wine and cheese with names I cannot pronounce.
My ad reads:
****************************************
Anything Considered
Unattached Woman
Charming, diplomatic, fluent in Spanish and English.
Seeks interesting or unusual work.
Cannot sing or bowl.
Will travel. Can write, cook, drive, converse and listen.
Anything considered except marriage.
*****************************
And it’s been very disappointing. No unusual or interesting offers. I thought I’d at least get one detective—a cop, itching to trap sexual perverts and predators, female or male. City of Omaha or Lincoln’s finest doing their best to clean up our streets, the saunas at the local fitness club and the internet, but I haven’t registered a single attempt to sniff out the legitimacy or perversion of my intent.
Because I am blessed with being wonderfully Manic and not so wonderfully Depressive (but only sometimes, thank God), this blog may induce vertigo in the reader. Not that it will teeter between happy-sad posts, just that it will teeter between subjects. Like so many good part-time manic people, at times I have the attention span of a three-year old, that and I don’t always finish what I start.
At the onset, I fully intend to travel within a 75 to 100 mile radius of Lincoln to visit small Nebraska towns and review their quaint, unusual or interesting places (and I don’t mean just the bars though I won’t lie to you, there will be a fair amount of those).
****************************************
Anything Considered
Unattached Woman
Charming, diplomatic, fluent in Spanish and English.
Seeks interesting or unusual work.
Cannot sing or bowl.
Will travel. Can write, cook, drive, converse and listen.
Anything considered except marriage.
*****************************
And it’s been very disappointing. No unusual or interesting offers. I thought I’d at least get one detective—a cop, itching to trap sexual perverts and predators, female or male. City of Omaha or Lincoln’s finest doing their best to clean up our streets, the saunas at the local fitness club and the internet, but I haven’t registered a single attempt to sniff out the legitimacy or perversion of my intent.
Because I am blessed with being wonderfully Manic and not so wonderfully Depressive (but only sometimes, thank God), this blog may induce vertigo in the reader. Not that it will teeter between happy-sad posts, just that it will teeter between subjects. Like so many good part-time manic people, at times I have the attention span of a three-year old, that and I don’t always finish what I start.
At the onset, I fully intend to travel within a 75 to 100 mile radius of Lincoln to visit small Nebraska towns and review their quaint, unusual or interesting places (and I don’t mean just the bars though I won’t lie to you, there will be a fair amount of those).
My blogging intentions are legitimate—real reviews of real places, real people, and real food. I have to feel like I’m working or it will only serve to screw up how I feel towards my slacking and I take my slacking very seriously: shaken and not stirred, rare with a side of literature.
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